I’m 22 and single. I know I’m still young. I know there are many single people in this world. But I also know I’ve been asked about my relationship status countless times since I was probably 17 and when I say I’m single I often get some pity words of someone trying to console me. But to me, being single doesn’t really qualify as a reason to be pitied.
Based on the amount movies, songs, TV shows, books, etc. that are all fully centered around the idea of love between a man and a woman, you could almost assume that marriage is the sole purpose of life. Even in my own writing, I tend to write more songs about love or heartache than not. There is clearly power in romantic passion and I love that there is. I think it makes life exciting. It’s incredible how much passion and emotion it provokes. I’m all about grand gestures of love. I hope I get proposed to through a firework someday because how cool would that be?!
But I’m writing this to say that as wonderful as romantic love is, I just don’t think it’s the point of life. I don’t think all our purposes can be summed up to the search and achievement of finding and marrying the right person. So if you feel discouraged about your love life, I promise it’s not the only thing you have going for you in your life. We were made for more than marriage. Marriage is a HUGE thing that can and will have a huge impact on your life. But it’s not the sole point of life. We’ve also been created to encourage people, start companies, write songs, dream up movies, grow families, explore the world, be professional athletes, start churches, be teachers... the list goes on and on.
Yes, there are times I feel lonely or wish I had a man to watch a movie and dream about life with. I’m human. So are you. We get those feelings and we were made to have them. But there are other purposes for us. Maybe if you’re following the other passions and purposes in you, you’ll find the “one” along the way. If we get too bogged down constantly worrying about finding the “one,” we could miss out on the places they might be. I know we will at least miss out on a lot of other joy that is in our reach.
When the time comes, I know that having that person in my life will make my life better and more enjoyable in many ways and vice versa. But I don’t want to get sucked into the idea that once I get married I will have finally fulfilled my purpose and that in the meantime I’m not succeeding at what I’ve been created to do. I can’t assume that when I fall in love, all will be perfect. It still won’t be. But if I don’t put the pressure on the relationship to fix all my problems and make me happy 24/7, I think I’ll actually find a lot more happiness within it.
And I think that starts by me doing my part right now. So in the time between now and meeting my husband, I want to keep growing into the person I have been created to be. So when the time comes, whether it be in 5 minutes, 5 months, or 5 years, I can love that person and be loved freely without the pressure of perfection on the relationship. I can look forward to life having more adventures even after the honeymoon phase is over.
And all of that is why being 22 and single is A-OK most days and the truths I can remember on days when it doesn’t feel like it is.