Life on 8/4/16

This summer has been a mix of dreams coming true and my heart feeling down a little more often than I’d like it to be. When exciting things have happened, like driving across the country and music breakthroughs, my heart has been super happy but I’ve still had moments of aching from insecurity and lack of hope. My word for the year, vulnerable, keeps raring its head and letting me know it was the perfect word for the year. In fact, I feel like I haven’t been able to help but be vulnerable. All of my friends have heard me let them in on some of my heartache this year because when someone asks “How are you?” you sometimes can’t help but start pouring your heart out.

What is being vulnerable currently teaching me? It’s teaching me that community makes an enormous difference. And that happens when your community is given an opportunity to love you well in the middle of where you are at. I’ve shared my lows with people this year and because of that I’ve also gotten to share my highs. I’ve sat and told my friend Falecia how I far too often feel insecure about how I look. (dumb. I know.) And because I’ve been able to open up about that, she’s sat and told me my worth and helped me see it when I can’t myself. She’s written me letters as little reminders about how loved and beautiful I am. And then when I’ve had emotional breakthroughs or big musical victories, I’ve gotten to share them with her and have her celebrate with me. I’m seeing that if I’m not vulnerable with people in the first place, I miss out on a whole lot of encouragement and celebration with those around me. If I don’t share my struggles with my people, then it’s honestly just a lot harder to get through the valleys. It feels lonely to be hurting and feel like no one knows. But even if you’re feeling down and you let your people know, it somehow makes your low feel a lot better to be in. It may still feel like you're in a valley, but it doesn’t feel so suffocating to be there for a little while. 

Music is going really great right now (praise!) and I have a hard time fathoming a lot of the cool things happening. I know I’m young, but I’ve also been following this dream for quite a few years now. So to actually see some of those things coming to fruition feels unreal. What’s the coolest part about this stage right now though? Probably just being able to share it with those who have stood with me through the painful process of following a dream like this. On Tuesday night after church I was able to share with my friends some exciting news that I had just received involving my new song that is coming out (TOMORROW!) and guys, it was so fun!!!! It felt amazing to celebrate with all these people that have been encouraging me the whole time. 

This post is really just a jumble of words saying that sometimes life feels hard but please share it with your friends because it helps a ton. And then when victories happen, the celebration is THAT much better. Be open. Be vulnerable. It’s hard at first but it’ll become your normal. And it’s way more fun to live life closely tied to your people and not trying to do it all alone. 

PS. EXCITING NEWS TOMORROW! Or later today depending on how long I can keep it in for:) 

AM